Based on the understanding and successful application of Habit 1 through 3, which are the Private Victory, Covey now moves into the Public Victory. Public Victory does not simply mean winning over others, instead, it means the victory in effective interaction that results in synergies and bring mutual benefits to everyone involved

Habit 4: Think Win-Win

Based on the understanding and successful application of Habit 1 through 3, which are the Private Victory, Covey now moves into the Public Victory. Public Victory does not simply mean winning over others, instead, it means the victory in effective interaction that results in synergies and bring mutual benefits to everyone involved. According to Covey, Win/Win is a frame of mind and heart that constantly seeks mutual benefit in all human interactions. Everyone involved should benefit and feel satisfied with the outcome or solution. Win/Win looks beyond power and position, rather it focus on principle, and it fosters a cooperative and mutually beneficial environment.

Covey categorized all human interactions into six paradigms, which are Win/Win, Win/Lose, Lose/Win, Lose/Lose, Win, and No Deal. No Deal is agreeing to disagree, which means when mutual benefit could not be achieved and no synergy is possible, the next best option is to abandon both. No Deal is open and liberating, because no one is pressured or manipulated to agree to the other, and both parties are open to look for other options, which would lead to greater synergies. Ultimately, for all human interactions, the best possible options are Win/Win and No Deal in long-term relationships.

Five Dimensions of Win/Win

1. Character
   • The foundation of Win/Win, consisting three essential character traits: integrity, maturity, and abundance mentality.
   • We first have to determine our core values and principles, and then proactively organize and execute our actions around those values on a daily basis, as well as keeping meaningful promises and commitments.
   • Personal Reflection: For both personal and professional life, develop self-awareness and have a deep understanding of my own personal core values and principles. For instance, I want others to see me as a kind, honest, diligent, accountable, and trustworthy person. Therefore, all my daily behaviors should revolve and reflect these values. There will be no shortcut, my character is built up over time through the countless interactions with everyone around me.
2. Relationships

• Trust is the essence of Win/Win paradigm, and it establishes the ground for open, mutual, and endless creativity.
• Personal reflection: If I am perceived as a trustworthy and accountable teammate at work, when different point of views or conflicts arise, my team members would know that I have the right intention and would always strive for mutually beneficial solutions. The solid and healthy relationship between my teammates and I would eliminate any unnecessary doubts or further conflicts, and we would be able to find the best alternative eventually.

3. Agreements
   • Clarify and define expectations and instructions of involved parties in any interdependent endeavors, including desired results, guidelines, resources, accountability, and consequences.
   • Personal reflection: As an intern, whenever we are assigned tasks, we must clearly understand the agreement between manager and ourselves, including what result is expected, how long approximately is the task expected to take, who and what type of resources are available when we encounter problems. Asking and clarifying these questions would also show our proactivity and willingness to learn and contribute to the team.
4. Supportive Systems
   • The reward system and organizational environment must align with Win/Win paradigm to promote a cooperative organizational culture.
   • Personal reflection: An organization should focus on promoting and rewarding synergetic teamwork rather than competitive individual work, and only when the reward and compensation system support the Win/Win paradigm, organizations could then achieve the synergies they desire.
5. Processes
   • The Win/Win paradigm is only achievable through a Win/Win process, which involves viewing problems from the other point of view, identifying key issues and concerns involved, determining acceptable solution, and identifying possible options to achieve those solutions.

Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, then to be Understood

This habit deals with the most important skill in life: communication. Out of the four basic types of communication, including reading, writing, speaking, and listening, listening is the main focus of Habit 5. Understanding the other party is the first and crucial step in the communication process. Only through active, genuine and empathic listening, which requires listening with not only ears, but also with eyes and with hearts, one can establishes the trust and respect in an interaction. Based on that foundation, one could then seek to be understood by others.

Often we tend to jump to conclusions or wonder why the other party does not understand our point of view, but the most effective way should be a change of paradigm, in which we ought to listen to the other point of view, try to understand their needs and concerns, and then relate and resolve any differences to reach a mutual understanding of each other.

Four Developmental Stages of Empathic Listening

1. Mimic content: repeat the words of another party, which shows that you have paid attention
2. Rephrase content: interpret the meaning using your own words
3. Reflect feeling: attempt to understand the emotions and feeling behind the words
4. Rephrase content & reflect feeling: helping the other party walk through his or her own thoughts and feelings

Practicing empathic listening establishes the authentic openness and trust in the communication, it breaks down any barrier between the other party and you, and it enables an effective and beneficial communication.