A good empathic response accurately reflects to the client the feelings and the meaning of what the client has said (Carkhuff’s Level 3 response).
For the following situations, write the feeling in the spaces, followed by the meaning (content) of what the client has said. Follow this by writing another statement that again reflects the feelings and meaning of the client, but this time in your own words. Review your answers and reflect on how well you responded empathically to the client.
For example, suppose a female client (“Client”) makes the following statement to a human service professional (“HSP”):
CLIENT: I don’t know what’s wrong with my husband. Since he lost his job, he just sits around all day and does nothing, doesn’t look for a job, doesn’t cook, just does nothing. He seems worthless.
Next is an example of a feeling word (“angry”) followed by the client’s meaning (“husband doesn’t do anything all day long”) in response to the preceding client statement:
HSP: You feel angry because your husband doesn’t do anything all day long.
The following is an example of a response to the same client, but this time in the helper’s own words, again reflecting feeling and meaning:
HSP: I guess I hear you’re disappointed and upset at your husband for not taking charge of his life.
Now, respond to the following scenarios, first with feeling words followed by content, then in your own words, but still including the basic empathic formula (feeling words and content).
1. Teenager to human service professional:
CLIENT: Why should I use condoms? I’m not going to get AIDS or nothing like that. Only gays get AIDS. Don’t you agree?
HSP: You feel ______ because _____________.
HSP: _______________.
2. Abused wife to human service professional:
CLIENT: I don’t know why I keep going back to him. He just keeps beating on me. But afterward, he always tells me he loves me. I think he loves me, but he just drinks too much sometimes.
HSP: You feel ________ because _________ .
HSP: _____________.
3. Pregnant teenager to human service professional:
CLIENT: I want this baby; I don’t care what my parents say about an abortion. I can bring this baby up by myself. I’ll quit school and get a job and bring the baby to work with me.
HSP: You feel _________ because ________.
HSP: ________________.
4. Disabled enlisted person to human service professional:
CLIENT: Even though I lost my leg, I have lots to live for. I have a good family, and I know I’m employable. I just hope I can get through rehab quickly.
HSP: You feel _________ because ________.
HSP: ________________.
5. Older person to human service professional:
CLIENT: Since I moved to this retirement home, I have nothing to live for. I can’t drive anymore, and I don’t know anyone here.
HSP: You feel _________ because ________.
HSP: ________________.
6. Person of color to human service professional:
CLIENT: I think I’m getting the shaft from my realtor. I keep telling her I want to move to this one neighborhood, and she says she can’t find anything for sale there. I don’t believe it!
HSP: You feel _________ because ________.
HSP: ________________.
7. Pro-life client to human service professional
CLIENT: I refuse to let any more babies die. I’ll do anything to close down those murdering abortion clinics.
HSP: You feel _________ because ________.
HSP: ________________.
8. Pro-choice client to human service professional:
CLIENT: I believe a woman has a right to choose what to do with her body, and I’m sick and tired of these pro-lifers interfering with other people’s right to choose!
HSP: You feel _________ because ________.
HSP: ________________.
9. Estranged husband to human service professional:
CLIENT: So I wasn’t faithful to my wife. So what? I loved her. She didn’t have to leave me. I still was good to her despite my failings. I miss her so much!
HSP: You feel _________ because ________.
HSP: ________________.
10. Estranged wife to human service professional:
CLIENT: I loved my husband, but I couldn’t put up with his infidelity any longer. He just couldn’t give me the love I needed in a relationship. I’m sorry he is so depressed now, but I can’t go back to him.
HSP: You feel _________ because ________.
HSP: ________________.
